AD Travels
Wandering, loving, laughing, living
Travel Blog #7
 
  Last time I wrote I was at the airport, headed to Paris, having had a week of successful gigs under my belt. Since then...

*I've visited (and played music in) beautiful Paris along with the lovely little city of Freiburg
*Visited the mountains above the city for lunch and Sunday revelry with new friends
*Played 7 successful gigs at Casablanca in Waldshut (including a ridiculously fun music festival)
*Dressed my flat up to feel nice and comfy-cozy and a little more like home
*Played mini-golf on the Rhine 
*Drank local beer in a real biergarten (which was one of a million - they are everywhere you look)
*Bar hopped late night with new friends

AND

*Made lots of plans for the remainder of my stay here.
 
  While in Paris, I was chauffeured around town by my friend Isaac from SD who was the best tour guide a girl could ask for! We saw all the sites. We took pictures at the Louvre, ate baguettes at the Eiffel Tower, and lit an offering candle at Cathedral Notre Dame. We stepped on the Center Point, stood under the Arch de Triumph, drank (quite possibly) the world's finest hot chocolate at Angelina, shopped the vibrant street market for the freshest, most delicious meats, veggies, berries, breads and cheeses, ate late night Crepes on the cobblestone street in front of Moulin Rouge, played gigs with international musicians, drank espresso at sidewalk cafes...

  And then flew back to Germany filled with amazement, beauty, wonder, romance and cheese. 
 
  I have started to really love Germany this past week but within just two days, Paris stole a piece of my heart. It is no wonder to me why it is known as the city of love. It is absolutely in the air and just being there filled my soul  with such warm and wonderful emotions.  I will undoubtedly return. On this trip, in fact, I've already made plans! In the future, however, I will return with my husband, Joe. I can't wait to share this feeling with him.
  On the topic of charming cities, Freiburg, Germany had a heart all it's own; worlds different from the heart of Paris, but so wonderfully unique and very, very special in its own way. This monday, I took the train there, checked  into a cute little hostel on the edge of town and met up with a friend and fellow musician I had met only the day before at a mutual friends Sunday lunch. Freiburg is a city of street performers. Music literally fills the air and floats on the wind. The energy is high and lively, and the University in town allows for a young and vibrant vibe.  The cobblestone streets are overflowing with positive energy and happy people.
  The night I spent in Freiburg was crammed with music, cappucinos and spontaneity. We headed to a tiny little pub called Litfass where this goofy and very entertaining band was playing. This place at full capacity could cram in about 30 people, including the band: it was tiny and fantastic. They finished their set at around 11, and the crowd was pretty interested in what a musician from San Diego, California had to offer. So someone handed me a guitar and showed me the 'stage'.  Let me tell you: when I return to Freiburg, I will play at Litfass again.  The crowd was attentive, responsive and made playing original, live music all of the great things it is supposed to be.  I had a blast, they had a blast, and it was overall a really great night :) (the owners even passed around the bucket and I ended up getting paid for a night out I had assumed would cost me money!)
 The next day I hiked up to the most magnificent view over Freiburg. The trails were stunning, the weather was perfect and I didn't realize when I started the hike that it was going to be 3km straight up hill, so I wore my flip flops. I made it up and back down perfectly safely (although at times fairly slowly), however my knees and ankles are now, two days later, in need of some recovery time and serious t.l.c.
  Before returning to Waldshut, I walked the river, rode the tram to the end of the line, window shopped and drank cappuccino on the main street and enjoyed some ratatouille at a cool, old Irish pub, all the while feeling high off the buzz of this cool little city. 
  The next night, a couple of my new friends who work at the Journal restaurant in town (my temporary local) took me around to a few bars and cafes, and gave me a little bit of the local experience. Following that we headed to my flat and watched a movie, had some wine and german style tortilla chips and enjoyed new company and new connections :)  It was nice to have visitors to my abode. I love hosting :)
 
On my plate for the near future, I plan to:
...play lots more amazing shows here in Waldshut, now with my buddy from San Diego, Mitch Budd who gets to Waldshut on Saturday!
...travel Jena to see Musee Mecanique play during their European tour!
...meet up with Ms. Jacqueline Adair, a lady who i studied abroad with in Australia, who's got a conference in Stuttgart (and maybe do a little light shopping at the NEX :))
...visit new friends in Heidelberg (which will be neat because of my upbringing in and around a print shop with tons of huge Heidelberg printing presses).
...travel into France to spend a couple days with my old friend Jaqui Lacroix (with whom I became friends during my time in New York at Ellen's Stardust Diner) and meet her beautiful little girl and handsome husband!
...check into a charming little Air BnB back in Paris and round out this tour with another visit to the city of lights and love (where I get to meet up with Sangeeta and Christine, two lovely women who I know from Fiji!!) and hopefully play a gig or two there as well :)
 
There's so much more to tell you...but I'm coming to realize there is always more. To sum up the last week or so, I guess I'd have to say that I'm very happy. I've found my flow, I've made some friends, I'm taking advantage of my days off and seeing and experiencing all that I can! 
...that, and relationships, relationships, relationships!!
I know that last post I stressed the importance of spending quality time with yourself. But if I could leave you with a challenge this week, it would be to either cultivate a new relationship, or spend some time nurturing a current one. At the very least, learn something new about someone you know. It is important to know and love yourself. And I strongly believe that it is equally important to share yourself with others. Human beings are not supposed to survive alone. We need each other, we need to receive love and we need to give it. I am so blessed and lucky in all the relationships that I have in this world...and I suppose it took a little time alone to remind me of that.
 
Be love and live well, my friends! See you next time :)
Wandering, living, laughing, loving: AD Travels #6
 
So here i am, sitting in the Zurich airport awaiting my flight to PARIS!! 
And I have to say, I have come back to a happy place. Yesterday I completed my first week of gigs at Casablanca Piano Bar in Waldshut, and although it was a rocky start to the week (mainly because I was feeling so incredibly foreign) it ended pretty darn well. The gigs got progressively better and I even started to meet a few people. But more importantly this week, i was allowed the opportunity to really spend some quality time with myself. And I've gotta say, once I waded through the feelings of extreme loneliness and alienation, I had a lot of fun. And I will be honest, it was a little terrifying at first.
  I was talking to  my friend Katelyn on Facebook messenger and telling her the tale of my lonesome woes, and she said something that really struck me as a  bit of a wake up call. She said "you're a nomad right now. And a nomad's friends are her guitar and her train ticket." 
  While I don't think that a week abroad by myself earns me the awesomely gritty title of nomad, I did take what she said very much to heart. And yesterday, I had a splendid time with my guitar, my train ticket and myself.
  If you know me, you know that my social life is of utter importance to me. I thrive in the presence of family, friends and fans. I gather all I am as a human being from the relationships that I cultivate. I guess this may have been the first real time (or at least the first time in a long, long time) that i didn't have that soul income from those surrounding me. But after talking to Katie, after really accepting and thinking, "okay, maybe im not at a point where I can draw from others," and after the impending fear of that realization, I may have had one of my favorite days of all time.
  I talked to myself ad nauseum, watched German cooking shows, sang to myself (sometimes intentionally off key), found an amazingly gripping russian soap opera to which I played the part of Mystery Science theater 3000, cracked myself up to no end, danced, drank champagne, ate a whole block of cheese, laughed about it, got lost and took the wrong train, had another good laugh, went to my gig, sang my heart out, smiled from ear to ear and skipped home in the pouring rain at 3am, past a healthy helping of overflowing bars. 
  And I am happy to say that I really like me.  Yep. Im pretty great. Kooky-whacky, definitely. Crazy...a little.  And if I could leave you with  a challenge today, it would be to spend some quality time with yourself and see how funny, cool, thoughtful, energetic, crazy, goofy and meaningful you really are, without the assist from others. And don't get me wrong. I don't mean a day of running errands and getting things done. Clear your calendar. Don't plan anything.  Turn off your phone. Get off of Facebook. Just for a day. Just as an experience. Just as an experiment. 
 
I bet you will be pleasantly surprised :)
 
Till next time!
Wandering, loving, laughing, living
Travel Journal #4
 
   While I was feeling like royalty in my airport hotel room shower last night, after ten days of driving, camping, not showering and sharing very close quarters with three other fully grown adults, I realized that all I've written about in my blog  is what we've done and where we've gone and very little about what's been happening on my emotional/personal journey.
   After my last blog, there've been views of the lake in Taupo, window shopping in Napier, tasting rooms on the wine trail, flat whites in Masterton, the roaring, crystal blue waters of Huka Falls, the Museum in Wellington followed by drinks and a walk along the windy harbour,  twisty mountain roads through the lush and mind-blowing gorgeousness of National Park, Glowworms in Waitomo, a speeding ticket 100km out of Auckland (whoops!) and sheep, sheep, sheep as far as the eye could see.  I suppose that we've been so mobile and on the go throughout this trip that I really haven't found an opportune time to stop and just be with myself, chill out a little and do some reflecting. 
   My folks and my husband took our camper-van and headed to the airport earlier today, and now I sit here alone, nestled up in a delightfully fuzzy blanket with a glass of malbec in the hotel lounge, gazing out the window at the rainy, blustery monday outside and figure that I must have been waiting for this moment to get the the deeper stuff all along. 
  Yikes...
  I've said it a million times and I'll say it a million more (probably because I really, honestly believe it): travel opens eyes. Cliché, maybe.  True, absolutely.  I am overwhelmed with the natural wonder of this place and, quite frankly, the magic of this world and all it offers. The people, places, sites, sounds, smells, the mystery, the surprises, the romance, the magic.
 
Yep. Magic. I'm fairly sure I've used this descriptor about 875 times on this vacation (now, I suppose 878). 
 
   It's that indescribable feeling when my eyes cannot convince my heart that what they see is real, and at the same time my heart doesn't need convincing. Instead it's just playing around with my soul, like kids making castles out of couch cushions. And my soul fort after this tip has quadrupled in size. I'm filled with the magic stuff. I can't get enough of it. 
   Im happily caught in a whirlwind of excitement, nostalgia, wonder, determination, exhilaration and a tiny bit of fear.   I board a plane in 5 hours and fly for almost 24 hours after that, bringing me to a new land of wonder and magic all the way on the other side of the world. 
 
So let's build some castles, shall we
Wandering, loving, laughing, living
Travel Journal #3
 
  Woke up in Ruakaka which was, again, stunning, and took a run on the beach, attempting to even moderately keep up with my husband who is currently training for a marathon...not one of my brightest ideas. I would have run a lot stronger, but as we quickly realized, the entire beach was made of rocks and running on it was similar to running in quicksand. It was beautiful, but oh so painful on my oddly old  knees and ankles. And I may have let him run a few more miles than I did. You know, just to be nice.  
   After the morning exercise fiesta, we took off driving to the Sky tower in Auckland, a spot even local NZ-landers say is worth the trip up.  But first we had a delightful lunch at Rebo at the base, where I ate gnocchi (quite happily) accepting that this is vacation and I live in a place where delicious gnocchi at noon is not readily available (not to mention any time of day. Fiji is not your Italian Food Mecca). We trailed up, had cocktails at the top, took some stunning pictures of some amazing views over Auckland, and then headed on to Hamilton to a campsite at the Glenview Club (where we met Grant the bartender who told us about Hamilton Gardens). Had we not me Grant (aka Smiley) we would've never even known about these phenomenal gardens.
  The absolutely stunning Hamilton Gardens are what I'm referring to. On my recommendation i say make it to Hamilton and go there (if you're ever in New Zealand). We finished our Gardens visit at the cafe overlooking the lake, had a delightful latte and brekky, and then we were onto Rotorua.  Upon arrival, we promptly stripped down to our skivvies and jumped into inflatable balls resembling human sized hamster enclosures at OGO (this is a real thing), and  rolled down a steep, grassy hill.  Definitely a memorable experience :) 
  Next was Hell's Gate Thermal Pools, whichever pretty damn stunning.  These thermal pools and geysers ranged anywhere from 40-130 degrees Celsius, bubbling, boiling and fizzing out of the earth's surface.  It was so fantastic that I kept having to remind myself that the pools were in fact a natural wonder and not man made Disneyland attractions.   
  That night was Rotorua Thermal Holiday Park. Mom and dad went to a traditional Maori experience and Joe and I had a delicious dinner in Downtown Rotorua at a restaurant called Craft Brew kitchen. It was a great little date night followed by a little dip in the thermal pools at the park and an early bed time. 
More to come.  We've been traveling hard and seeing so much that I'm playing a massive game of catch up with the blogs. But when the time is allotted, I'll keep you updated :)
 
See you soon!
Travel Blog #2: New Zealand
 
   About twenty minutes ago, left the romantic North Land town of Russell and I can genuinely say that I already miss it. It was truly a town full of beauty and magic, tucked away in one of the many, many coves of the vast and absolutely stunning Bay of Islands (144 islands, to be exact). 
  We hadn't planned on staying the night in Russell, but we were all so enchanted with the town the instant we arrived that, over a glass of the local wineries Pinot Gris and a couple of the 'unofficial best burgers in New Zealand' at the Duke of Marlborough Hotel, we decided,  unanimously, to change our plans. We found a lovely holiday park and booked a spot for the night, and for the following morning, four tickets on a Bay of Islands catamaran speed boat cruise. 
   At the campground, we were all able to take a lovely sunset stroll on this incredible boardwalk that spanned over a mangrove filled marshland, come back to the camper and have a little evening happy hour, and, my favorite part, take deliciously hot showers provided by the camp! It's really amazing how good a shower feels sometimes (this being one of those times).
  In the morning (this morning) we woke up, packed up and headed back to the dock where we would board the 9:30am cruise. But first, we indulged in a little espresso and scones at the Waterfront Cafe. There were two people sitting at the table behind us, enjoying their morning. One was a Kiwi lady named Leslie, the other a gentleman named Bruce. He was musician with long, grey, curly locks, a salty, weathered mustache and a top hat sporting a long red feather. He was originally from San Francisco, and sailed to NZ 35 years ago; a trip that took him four and a half years. 
   I, being as I am, asked the server about the live music scene in town.  The asking of such a question was indeed music to Bruce's ears, and he used it as an opportunity to strike up conversation.  Two things I learned about Bruce this morning is that the man has a serious passion for playing music, and that he is currently battling cancer. It was lovely to see him light up at the idea of playing some tunes with fellow musicians, and inspiring to see such undying hope and excitement in him. He said that the opportunity to play with other musicians was one of the only things to get him out of his chair these day. Then we spoke about (and agreed on) the incredible soul healing qualities of music.  It is magic, and he possessed it.  We made a deal that next time I am in Russell, I will look him up and we will jam. 
Now I've got a great reason to return :)
 
  Another thing that will undoubtedly fuel my necessity to return to Russell is the unbelievable beauty of the Bay. The cruise was rife with mind blowing views and breathtaking scenery. From the dolphins that swam playfully around the boat to the island stop with a ten minute hike resulting in the most colorful and vast 360 degree views, from the dock of Pahia to the passage through the "Hole in the Rock," the cruise was all that I wished it would be.
 
   Now on to Auckland and Rotorua, which I've heard is beautiful but smells like rotten eggs because of the thermal pools... Let's see how my nostrils fair, shall we?
Travel Blog #1: New Zealand 
  
   Lifting off the Nadi runway Into the wild blue yonder this morning I  couldn't help but marvel at the spectacular views of Viti Levu and all it's lush, expansive glory.  Before moving to Fiji, I would've never believed these mountain ranges and twisting rivers would be the view I'd find from up above. The reality of this island's breathtaking beauty has far surpassed anything my imagination had previously concocted.
As I sit here high above the ocean, listening to the whir if the engines and the quiet buzz of pressurized silence, inhaling the delightful hybrid aroma of in-flight scrambled eggs and air freshener, I find myself innundated with contemplative thought, backstroking through a mush-pot of emotion: primarily excitement, wanderlust and elation but with hints of nostalgia and nervous anxiety. 
   We are on our way to New Zealand (or New Zealand Land as my parents have so charmingly coined it) for a ten day escapade across the north island, finding abode in a motor home and vacationing, exploring, wine tasting, food indulging, hiking, hot spring swimming, glow worm caving and all around adventuring. Armed with a first aid kit, a 3 cup french press, sneakers, a rain jacket, a guitar, lots of laughter and a huge appetite for travel,  this trip is looking to be every bit the deliciously exciting excursion I've been so eagerly awaiting....and more :)
  So much more...for after the New Zealand Land leg of this trip, I'll embark on another adventure, all the way on the other side of the globe in Europe, playing music and loving life in the northern hemisphere. 
   This is the first installment of what I'm anticipating will be a hopeful, entertaining, heartfelt and occasionally comical blog series, chronicling my travels, stories and experiences along the road, and around the world.  I hope you enjoy!
Breathe

Hold your breath, close your eyes, count to ten
Then exhale, nice and slow, start again

And repeat, and repeat, and repeat again
Til your breath brings you back to okay again

Til your chest
Doesn't feel so empty, so empty
Fill it up again
Just breathe

Be alone with your heart, with your mind
Hurry not, keep it calm, give it time

And with time, and in time, start to heal again
Til the time and your heart make you heal again

Til your chest
Doesn't feel so empty, so empty
Fill it up again
Just breathe

Just breathe
Just breathe
Just breathe

In the times that it feels like the end
Hold your breath, close your eyes, count to ten...
(1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10)

Til your chest
Doesn't feel so empty, so empty
Fill it up again
Just breathe

Til your chest
Doesn't feel so empty, so empty
Fill it up again
Just breathe

 

Curious Moments and Inciting Incidents

All of a sudden, after months and months of a motionless hand, I'm finally feeling the ability to move my fingers again. Here at The Blog of Allegrasings.com is the result of those restless digits. Hope you enjoy.

What I'm Thinking

Line for Line with Molly  

Lately I've been spending a bit more face to face skype time with one of my very best girlfriends from back home, Molly. About a month ago, when both of us were similarly recovering from some downs and really looking forward to some ups, she suggested we start a line for line writing session. 

A line for line is a piece of poetry that is passed back and forth, sort of like a hot potato. In our case, it was more like a bag of delicious potato chips, as we both like to take our time with words and have no problem with talking and expressing more than less...probably one of the reasons we get along so well. So here's our line for line. It's about life. And angels. And puzzle pieces. And falling down and getting up. And depending on friends. And all that good stuff. You get the gist. (I won't tell you which lines belong to whom - i'll leave that to beautiful mystery)

Enjoy :)

If ever i needed a reminder of just how much I'm loved,
I can't think of any better example than the time life attempted to break my spirit while love simply took my hand and showed me how to rise above.
All through my angels you see, the real and everyday physical beings from the past and present day that redefined the very word for me.
That redefine me.

They redefine me, especially in the moments defeat is my worst enemy and sadness or anger and hopelessness try their best to overcome me.
Like times I start to pity me for things that don't deserve the pity.
But the party's already started and there's nowhere left to look but skyward, friend-ward, forward, open-hearted.

Party time until the time these tears become the departed
Forward, backward, one step, two step, living and learning
Relentlessly earning
Puzzle pieces of wisdom keep churning
Out and through all my angel's that keep working
For me. With me. Beside, below and above me. They love me.

They look over me and down on me, surround me with positivity
Or, better yet, the ability to see myself through the scattered jigsaw pieces all around me.
Some put together, beginning to form pictures; lessons learned for me to see.
And still some in little piles, turned upside down and backwards, with no place, just yet in the puzzle of me...

At least no place yet that I can see. But my angels remind me to believe.
They remind me of the beauty in everything we can't see.
How the upside down and backwards moments we face force us to see not who we are but who we can be.
Truly trusting that all of the dismal damages incurred always do come in handy.

And trust me, the damages have been plenty. Some just outside my zone of easy, and some farther out like their own different country.
And honestly, sometimes when any hope is farther than my eyes can see,
It becomes necessary to come back to the fact that if i crack or react in ways that hold me tied back or restrained,
i have those beautiful angels there to share the pain.

They handle it, hold it just long enough for me to unfold it.
The unbalanced footing inside feelings that remain held tight and openly exposed inside a picture frame of my life.
Memorialized memories now mimicked by those unknown onlookers, following in my footsteps.
Connecting every doubtfully confident concept of my understanding of it all.
Live or die, rise or fall, for better or worse, I've seen it, I've been in, up, down, around it all.
Knowing that the brightest life moments when i stood tall were only felt because of the equally felt deepest darkest moments of every fall.
 

New Song, yo. It's called "Naturally"...video to come 

 Naturally

Isn’t it true
The things you can’t take back
Can’t push rewind
Can’t pause the hands time

It’s fate
The wheels won’t ever stop
Won’t cease to turn

Chorus
For every moment happens just
The way it needs to be
While all the while we argue with
The motion of reality
But life’s a whole lot sweeter
When you let it happen naturally

There are the times
You feel like all the world
Is biting at
The soles beneath your feet

It’s worth
The pain it takes
To keep on moving up

Chorus
For every moment happens just
The way it needs to be
While all the while we argue with
The motion of reality
But life’s a whole lot better
When we let it happen naturally

Bridge
The times it feels like time’s not on your side
Take a breath, just sit back, enjoy the ride

So it's almost 6:00am... 

 ...and i'm still awake - and watching 30 Rock - and loving it! These day, I constantly ask myself why I cannot sleep, and more importantly how I possibly survive the days that follow the sleepless night without keeling over. But why-ever it is, I have to say that it is what it is (song title from "Keep It Simple") and I'm dealing with it as best I can. I'm cruising to Palm Springs tomorrow (aka today) and thinking about all the great things that will come about both this weekend and, for that matter, the rest of the month...and two months...and year...and three years.

I've got quite the time ahead of me: 

- My fiance, life long love and closest friend in the world is coming back home after 6 months from where he's been on deployment, thousands of miles away from me
- I'm playing music at a wedding in Tampa, Florida, where I've never been, and am SO incredibly anxious and excited to go
- I'm getting MARRIED!!
- I'm moving to Fiji for 3 years...YIKES! (a move that will entail re-evaluating/rewriting my whole purpose, job, ideas of success, etc.) - AND I couldn't be more excited!
- A handful of my closest friends are all tying the knot within months of each other
- I'm acquiring more gigs than I've ever had before, and am although extraordinarily exhausted, I'm extraordinarily busy, super excited and also curious about what will happen to them/me when I move across the world in 9 months (and counting!)...
- Etc, etc, etc.

Wowee wow wow.
What a year. 

You know what I think?

I think that all that is happening in these next 12 months may have some effect on my sleeplessness. Perhaps. Maybe...

The last time I was as insomniac (?) as I am now was back in College at Chapman U, in 1999, when I was exiting my parents home and living on my own, as a pseudo-adult for the very first time.

SO I guess in the book of Allegra's Life:
Change and extreme growth = no sleep

It all, quite frankly, makes me quite curious and contemplative (to the point where I'm writing blogs at 6:00am, clearly, running on fumes and adrenaline).

To be honest, recently returning from my three week long west coast tour, sleeplessness has actually returned as a common function in my life. Sleeping in a different bed (or tent) every night for 22 days brought my sleep habits back to quite a sporadic and inconsistent place.  BUT...I have to say - at least for now -it works. Not that it will work for an extended amount of time. In fact I'm sure it will not.  Especially looking forward to all of the upcoming events in my life. Sleep must absolutely return to it's normality eventually. Or else I may go completely berserk...that, or start writing some incredibly deep music..or both.

So there's that. The sun is rising, the nights darkness has started fading into daylight, the 4th episode of 30 Rock is gracing my television and I am finishing what seems to be an awfully long yet not exceedingly important blog.  

If you're reading it, I hope you enjoy it. If you're not reading it, that means you're probably asleep like most normal people.

So enjoy the read or sleep well, and I'll be talking to you soon!

 

Allegrasings

 




Not enough blogs? I'll work on it. 

 I was out at lunch with my beautiful friend Laina with whom I've not chatted extensively with for over 10 years. There were brief hello's in '09 at our High School reunion, but that's about it. We reconnected over facebook when I alerted all my friends via status update that I'll be moving to Fiji in a little less than a year. It's pretty great news, and I am overwhelmed with excitement and nerves, and Laina contacted me and said how great it was that Fiji is in my future and she would love to tell me all about it, as she's been there an extensive amount of times, including getting married there, over the past 12 plus years.
Rock and roll.
It was so great to see her and talk Fiji over a couple of burritos from Rico's Taco Shop in Encinitas (on an aside, it was the most perfect day for a beautiful coastal drive!) and play a little catch up. 

During our conversation, she asked me, "So do you have a blog?"
To which I replied, "Yes, I do. It's at Allegrasings. But don't go there. I haven't written anything, and the stuff I posted isn't that great."

My silly answer really got me thinking about why I'm not writing constantly. 
And the reason is because I want you all to believe i'm really ridiculously clever, charming and funny all the time. So when I write a blog post that I believe won't come off as such, i store it in a cobwebby folder on my desktop titled Blogs. It should, however, be titled Blogs that I intend to post after editing and making perfect, but let's face it, I'm nowhere near the writer i'd like to be so these blogs will never be seen again.

That would be more accurate.
And a little depressing, knowing of myself that one of my favorite things in life is to complete things. I never want to leave anything undone, unfinished, with any loose ends...

This all took me to browsing google, just out of curiousity, for other people who have had unfinished work, and what may have been their reasoning for it. 
So this is a pretty cool list. Check it out...
Top Ten Unfinished Works

But what i've found in my meanderings, googlings, conversations, etc. is that I need to lock it up and start posting these blogs. All the people in top ten above had really way too decent reasons for unfinished work. I, on the other hand, do not.

So i'm going to start posting more blogs. And if they're unclever, boring, anti-factual or bothersome in anyway, at least there's hope that next time i'll be back on my game. 
Here's hoping, and enjoy what's to come :)

Allegrasings

Back From Tour! 

Here I am, back in San Diego after 20 days of being on the road...
20 days.
15 shows.
14 cities.
Camping, playing, exploring, partying, writing, jamming, loving, learning, traveling...living.
My head is in quite the tizzy  - my head and heart.

For these last 3 weeks I have felt more alive than i've ever remembered feeling.
I'm not sure if it's the open road, that rush of spontainaity, the spark in my creative process, the people, the places or just the pure excitement of not knowing what's coming next, where I'll lay my head come night time, who i'm going to meet tomorrow...but it is most definitely invigorating. It's a high that i'm fairly certain I am coming down off of at this moment and having withdrawls, just as if I have injested something bad for me and am feeling the repricussions of my badness.

But yet I'm certain that the high of the tour wasn't badness at all. Pure goodness. Pure lifeline. Purely musical. And truly more amazing than I could've ever been lead to believe.
So i've got things to think about. You know, the little inconsequential things...Who am I? What do I want out of life? In what capacity does touring need to be in my existence? What do I need to be happy?

So there it is. I'll be playing five shows this week. I'd love to see you out at one if you'd like to come have a drink with me and talk about deep stuff.
...or if you just want to talk about the weather. I'd still love to see you.

Hello, San Diego. It's good to see you again

Allegra

Hiring a roadie/gig tech... 

...and creating my own reality!
I'm realizing these days that the only thing standing between me and 'success' is negative thoughts and stagnant action (oxymoron?)
I say you are only as SUCCESSFUL as you allow yourself to be. In your heart, in your head, and your actions and words.
It's all in how you view it.
We've all got a little bit of something amazing inside of us screaming to come out and show the world, and the only thing holding it back is doubt and disbelief.
So I say GET OUT THERE and get your success on! Look to the skies. Hold that head up. Believe in your own strength, and begin and end everything you do with love and compassion and then everything else that falls into place is just the icing on the cake.

Allegra

Hiring a roadie/gig tech... 

...and creating my own reality!
I'm realizing these days that the only thing standing between me and 'success' is negative thoughts and stagnant action (oxymoron?)
I say you are only as SUCCESSFUL as you allow yourself to be. In your heart, in your head, and your actions and words.
It's all in how you view it.
We've all got a little bit of something amazing inside of us screaming to come out and show the world, and the only thing holding it back is doubt and disbelief.
So I say GET OUT THERE and get your success on! Look to the skies. Hold that head up. Believe in your own strength, and begin and end everything you do with love and compassion and then everything else that falls into place is just the icing on the cake.

Allegra

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Now Accepting Applications: Roadie NEEDED 

I LOVE my job. I get to sing for a living. I think that is the greatest thing ever. I was thinking about success the other day, and this is what I thought: my goodness, I'm successful at what I do. I love that for my job, I constantly make people listen, smile, laugh, learn and enjoy life - with music.
 
However there is one thing about my job that i do not like. In fact, I've come to the conclusion that not even do I just dislike this one thing, but I loathe it. It makes me sluggish and un-eager to get to gigs. For some reason it stresses me out and makes me almost not want to go play music. 

The thing?

Setting up and tearing down equipment.
I've decided (in all my infinite wisdom...) that the set up and tear down process of my gigs steals a little bit of my soul every time.
It might sound silly, but I honestly think Set Up/Tear Down is holding me back...from being the absolute best version of myself.

Here's the thing...
I like to dress up when I'm on stage. I like to wear a well thought out outfit, spend some time on my hair and makeup and, most all the time, wear high heels. Carrying amps, guitars, gig bags, chords, stands, merchandise and the rest is not the easiest or most comfortable thing to do with heels on - especially when I am playing a crowded bar or perhaps a club downtown where parking is sparse and 10 blocks away.
Secondly, when I finally make it to the venue with all of the cases of gear there's a lot of bending down and standing up while I get all dialed in. Back and fourth, bend down, stand up, worry about ankles, bend down, stand up, pull jeans up, ben down, pull jeans up again, worry about sore feet, etc.
Third things third, When I finally do get set up, it's impossible to do a 'sound check' as all I can hear from the stage is an unmonitored version of me. I'm mostly guessing as to how I sound to the people sitting in front of the speakers. 

I could go on, but you get the point.

Bottom line: I've decided that I need a Roadie. I'm fairly sure that the ultra happiness, welI being and longevity of my carreer depends on it. I want to hire someone to come to gigs before I do, get my equipment inside, set it up, and sound check it, and then to come back when I'm finished, tear down my equipment and put it back in the car.

So...who's interested?? 

It's hard to describe... 

 ...what I feel as I wander as a zombie, tear swollen and alone, around this room; the space, with eachother, we've shared and cultivated an atmosphere of 'together'.
I'm not sure of the sensation i get when I open his drawer to put away that laundry we finished before he left, and see the random items of clothing he left behind.

It's quiet.

I can't describe the quiet, but to say that it's a loud noise, comprised of millions of dull little peices of a solemnest silence - and the whirr of a ceiling fan spinning around. And around. And around.
Our dog has curled his tiny furry body into a peanut-like shape and tucked in his little head. And situated it into a nest on the other side of the bed.

I can't explain the feeling of knowing that he's hundreds of miles away from me. Physically. Over water. Moving farther.
I hear the sentiments that it will get easier,

The time will fly like lightning,
The distance is exciting,
And your spirits are what keeps the bodies strong til reuniting.

I hear the those sentiments and more
Like, at least he's in a safer place than before.
Than the last time
At least it's a shorter period of alone time,
Merely pass time

But that's comforting until i'm here alone.
And I realize that the person i've become is no longer made of one.

He truly is my other half.

He makes me laugh so hard i start to cry
And rub my eyes and start to sneeze
He makes me weak beneath my knees

With joy and love and warmth and now he's gone.
At least for now he's gone.

For now.

And I'll keep wandering around this room.
And wondering what this feeling looming in my heart and head and soul could be.

It's that Finally...
I've found the missing part of me.

But for 6 months I've got to see it from a panoramic.
I love a man
Who's soul is enigmatic.
I've got a love that's pure magic

So it is as it is
And until then i'll keep making the bed.
Writing him poetry
Taking long walks
Hoping fate will be good to me.
Clearing my head,
Singing my songs,
And hoping this time will be shorter than long

And before i know it, he'll be filling this space with his amazing grace and his loving face and I won't be so lost to describe how i feel.
Anymore.